The Sideling Hill (2018)

The Sideling Hill (2018) - United States
Directed by: Nathan Hine

ABOUT THE FILM:
The Sideling Hill is an independent horror film from the prolific underground horror team Hardgore Core Productions, whose films Last Days of Livermore and Keepsake I've talked about in the past. The Sideling Hill began production in 2015 when director Nathan Hine grew fascinated by the Sideling Hill Tunnel, an abandoned Pennsylvanian turnpike tunnel. Hine wanted to use the location after fellow filmmaker and friend Matty Calhoun had used the tunnel in a couple of his shot-on-video horror films. The movie took 3 years to make and a lot of problems arose during production, such as cast and crew leaving the project to focus on other things, the director not being happy with early edits made of the film, or even one of the actors becoming pregnant. However through a lot of trial and error, Hine and crew soldiered forth and delivered a top-notch gore film that wound up actually being one of my favorites I've seen in recent years, and perhaps an underground classic in the making.

Perhaps I'm showing my hand a bit early, so why not describe what the movie is about? Well the story follows Adam, a veteran who served in the Middle East, who was left traumatized over all of the horrific things he witnessed during wartime. As a result, he became a reclusive alcoholic, which led to his marriage falling to pieces. When his friend Harry and his daughter Allie beckon Adam to come with them to see the abandoned turnpike tunnel, Adam reluctantly agrees. On the way there they get a little lost and when they stop to ask some locals for directions, they warn them that the tunnel is extremely dangerous and has a long history of hauntings. They ignore the warnings and proceed to hike for miles and miles, eventually making it to the tunnel. But as they travel deeper into the tunnel, tensions rise between the trio and Adam keeps seeing things that remind him of wartime and start to bring out his inner demons...

REVIEW:
I remember first discovering Nathan's reviews on his Hardgore Core YouTube channel back in 2015, where he reviewed all kinds of underground gore and horror flicks. He covered tons of awesome stuff like obscure German splatter and the films of Darren Ward. And then one day he uploaded a teaser trailer for The Sideling Hill, which looked moderately interesting. After talking with Nathan over YouTube comments and through Facebook for some time, he shared with me a short film that he made while working on The Sideling Hill called The Last Days of Livermore, and I remember being surprised at the overall quality of the short. For something from a first-time director, it was very well-made with some good cinematography and crazy over-the-top splatter effects. I instantly became more excited about checking out Nathan's later works, and when The Sideling Hill was finally released, I was ecstatic to give it a watch.

I had high expectations set, and even then, this movie completely cleared those expectations. The movie is well-written with some great dialogue and some genuinely tense moments, such as when things begin to intensify between our cast of characters. However the movie is a little slow in some places, especially during tense moments, so as to keep viewers in suspense for as long as possible. I've seen both the director's cut and the shorter unrated version, with both clocking in at or over 2 hours. The director's cut is longer and a bit gorier, however I prefer the unrated cut because it's more polished and more tightly edited.

The acting is decent all things considered, with Hine stealing the show as Adam. He comes off as this genuinely troubled man who has been deeply psychologically scarred and as a result has a warped outlook on life. Some of the performances aren't that great, but these people aren't professional actors, they're just trying their very best to make their roles work and the end result is really admirable. The two other show stealers are the cinematography and the gore effects. The camera work and lighting is very well done for a low-budget film; we have some great shots and the lighting in some scenes definitely helps build this uneasy vibe. The gore scenes are few and far apart, but when the gore scenes kick in, holy shit do they deliver. There's a bunch of crazy over-the-top blood sprays with every cut and stab, and the make-up effects look pretty awesome. Aside from the movie having a bit of a slow pace at times, the only other issue I have with the movie is the sound. This is a common issue with Hardgore Core's films and indie cinema in general, that the sound is kind of schizo. Sometimes within the same scene, you'll have perfect sound and you can hear everyone or everything. Then when the camera angle changes, suddenly the sound is so muffled that you can barely hear it, and it's distracting at points. The movie does have a pretty awesome soundtrack though, with music from Australian death metal band MISERY and an original score by Will England. Great stuff!

But all things considered, The Sideling Hill is a solid fucking watch with interesting characters, a good story and some cool gore effects. And while the gore is there, the movie doesn't completely drive itself on the gore, but at the same time, what is there suits the plot. And that's what I admire about the movie. I love a good ol' mindless balls-to-the-wall gorefest every now and then, but I also love when a movie is more sparing with its use of gore. It makes it more effective! While I could go on and on about how awesome this movie was, I don't want to give away too much because I think any self-respecting gorehound or horror fan should give this one a watch.

RELEASES:

-The Sideling Hill was released on DVD by D.I.Y. Productions in Canada in 2018. This DVD contains the director's cut version of the film, and The Last Days of Livemore as a bonus short.

-The film was released on VHS and self-distributed by Hardgore Core Productions in 2019. The run was limited to 30 copies.

-The movie was also released on DVD and Blu-Ray by PSFilms Video in 2019. The DVD comes with the unrated final cut of the movie. Bonuses include three trailers, the original teaser, a "Tour of the Sideling Hill" featurette, and a documentary about the movie called "The Light at the End of the Tunnel." The Blu-Ray includes the final cut and the director's cut, plus a bunch of extras.

-The UK-based Dead Format Films released the movie in 2019 in a limited collector's edition boxset. The set came with all three different cuts of the movie, a VHS copy, the original soundtrack on CD and even a piece of actor Mike Knapp's bloody shirt from the movie. Step aside, Arrow Video.

Kindness of Strangers (2019)

Kindness of Strangers (2019) - United States

Directed by: Lucky Cerruti

Warning, this review contains mild spoilers.

ABOUT THE FILM:

Kindness of Strangers tells the story of an engaged couple, John and Sarah, who are looking for a venue to stay at where they can get married. They find an accommodation through an online app and find a rather nice bed-and-breakfast in a small town where everybody knows everybody. The home is hosted by Gail, a very welcoming and friendly woman living on her own after losing her husband Mack. But what seems like the perfect trip quickly turns into a nightmare for John and Sarah...

REVIEW:

Man, where to start?

Well, from what I understand this is writer/director Lucky Cerruti's first film, and this is my first time seeing anything from him. After seeing this, I feel more inclined to check out his other work because Kindness of Strangers is a fantastic short film in every single respect!

The story, even if it's a little cliched, is very well-written and well-developed across the 34 minute runtime. Our main characters are very likable and have good chemistry between each other, so when they find themselves in trouble you feel sorry for them and want to see them win. Part of that also has to do with the acting, as our two leads play John and Sarah perfectly and are very fitting for the roles. Actually, everyone here turned in an amazing showing and it really helped suck me into the film. Without meaning to spoil, the actors who played the villains did a great job and really sold their characters as these truly sick, evil individuals who do what they do just because they can. There are some people out there who just like to hurt and kill others for fun, and the actors sell their characters as such evil scumbags.

The camera work and lighting is very competently done throughout, the editing and sound work is clean and tightly done, and what few special effects are in this film are done very well. Even the score, which was also done by Lucky, is good and helps set the tone and atmosphere for the film!

I was very pleasantly surprised with the overall quality of this short! When I went into it I was just expecting another by-the-numbers, bland horror story. But instead I got this tightly-written, perfectly-acted and just overall well-made short film. I would highly recommend picking up a copy and supporting the filmmakers, and anything else that they have available! I know Lucky has at least one other movie and a bunch of shorts available, which I will be reviewing in the near future.

RELEASES:

-Kindness of Strangers was released on DVD by Dead Vision Productions in 2019! You can pick up a copy here.

-The film was also released on VHS, however the run was very limited and is sold out as of now.

Diary of a Cannibal (2006)

Diary of a Cannibal (2006) - United States

Directed by: Ulli Lommel

ABOUT THE FILM:

If the term "cinematic sleeping-pill" were in the dictionary, pairing it with the poster image for Diary of a Cannibal would do the phrase more than enough justice. This movie was conceived when (the now late) German director Ulli Lommel worked with notorious fellow German director Marian Dora on the set of Lommel's Zombie Nation. The two penned a script based on the real life case of Armin Meiwes, a man who was convicted for cannibalizing a man he met on the internet. When Lommel deemed Dora's film to be far too graphic and disturbing, he quickly went to work on his own version, which Lionsgate would later release as Diary of a Cannibal.

Now why is that last part relevant? Well frankly, I can't see how Lionsgate would even consider distributing a hunk of shit like this.

To summarize, Diary of a Cannibal is about a couple, Adam and Noelle, who meet on the internet. Adam wants Noelle to kill him and feast on his flesh as the ultimate sign of love. So the two drive out to this.. warehouse thing.. in the middle of no where. Noelle straps him to a giant cross, guts and decapitates him and then grills and feasts on his organs. To pad this piece of shit out even more, they add endless amounts of recycled footage, shots of the beach, gratuitous footage of a lamb being skinned, scenes of Noelle driving on a Vespa, and whatever bible inserts Lommel could find that are related to cannibalism- it just keeps going and it never ends. Eventually Noelle is caught, sent to prison and convicted, and then Adam's mom pays off a bunch of inmates to savagely beat Noelle. She is then hospitalized and dies on the hospital bed as police question why she was sent to prison, even though she was already convicted and serving her sentence!!! The only reason the hospital scenes exist is to tell the story entirely in flashback, out of order, mind you, and pad this movie out with as much recycled footage, artsy-fartsy montage-style editing, bible quotes and other pretentious bullshit as possible.

There you go, I just saved 82 minutes of your life! You're welcome.

REVIEW:

Despite the story being shallow and nonsensical, it probably would've worked better as a short instead of an 82 minute snoozefest. So not only is the story a failure on every level, but the actors (I'm using that term as loosely as I can) put absolutely no effort into trying to emote or put some life into these dull, empty characters. The entire movie, it's clear that the actors don't care and just want to cash a paycheck, a check they did not earn because they didn't do a god-damned thing on camera. Even then, the only thing Adam managed to do was to sport a dead-eyed, lifeless stare the entire film.

And on top of that... I don't mind watching amateur movies, but when I see movies being put out by a company as big as Lionsgate, I would expect some sort of quality-control. However, not only do we have the endless amounts of recycled footage, but the editing is so piss-poor and there are tons of filters and layered shots added that just make the movie even harder to watch. The camera work here for the most part is shaky and fuzzy, and sometimes they even unfocus the camera to try and hide some of the questionable special effects!

On that note, the best effect in the entire film is the end credits.

Everything else is incredibly cheap and shit, but two effects in particular stand out. After Noelle cuts off Adam's head, she carries his head towards the table to set it down. At first you'd swear they made a cast of the actor's head because it looks incredibly detailed. But then you see a still-shot of it and you can tell the actor's face is just photoshopped onto a rubber head! 

Then in another shot with the head facing the camera, the camera is so blurry that it's impossible to see anything!

But even worse, we get a shot of what is supposed to be Adam's headless body strapped to the giant cross thing. Instead of using a dummy, they put a solid black digital shadow over the actor's head to try and hide it!

I swear that I didn't edit that picture.

That is easily the worst special effect I have ever fucking seen. For Christ's sakes, DAS KOMABRUTALE KIFFERDUELL had better special effects than this!! Just process that for a second. And on top of that, the blood changes thickness from scene to scene, and even the innards change too! When Noelle first pulls out Adam's heart and organs, they look just like a heart and organs. But once she'd finished grilling them, they suddenly turned into what look to be a steak and a giant chunk of ham. And as we have a shot of her cutting in the heart, once more, the camera is blurred. That shot alone tells me that Ulli Lommel knew he had a terrible movie on his hands, but he was going to try and hide that as much as possible and still try to profit off of it. And that is disgusting.

Before I watched this movie I had heard nothing but terrible things about it. Usually I can find at least one positive in a bad movie, but this couldn't give me any. Not even one. At least Das Komabrutale Kifferduell made me laugh; at least they... kinda tried to do special effects. At least the Wood of No Return wasn't boring beyond all belief!

This was unwatchable. This is by far the worst horror movie I have ever seen, and I wouldn't wish for my worst enemies to watch a movie this fucking atrociously bad.

RELEASES:

-Somehow, this abominable thing got released on DVD by Lionsgate in 2007. It comes with trailers and an audio commentary, which is nothing but Lommel and his editor and actor stroking his ego.