The Norwegian Drillbit Massacre (1988)

 

Den Norske Drillbor Massakren (1988) - Norway

Directed by: Jon Christian Møller

ABOUT THE FILM:

The year was 1988. It was a decent year for horror films. It's the year that we got such classics as Child's Play, Night of the Demons and Brain Damage. It's also the year that gave us what is, in my opinion, one of the better 80's shot-on-video horror movies, 555 by Wally Koz. We also got a few more decent SOV's like Twisted Issues, and a couple of turds like Death Nurse 2. Meanwhile, in Norway, a teenager named Jon Christian Møller, armed with nothing but a camcorder and some butcher refuse bags, made zero-budget movies out in the forest with his friends. Jon didn't make movies for any reason other than to entertain himself and his friends. But somehow, these movies made it farther than their homes.

The Norwegian Drillbit Massacre doesn't have a plot. Some schmuck in a white mask with really long brown hair runs around decimating people with a power drill. He comes across cyclers, punks and scum and just mutilates them in really violent and juvenile ways. This goes on for the whole movie until two random characters, some guy named Dr. Døllshit and a girl, put up a fight with the lunatic, tie him up and torture him to death with fireworks. Having defeated the menace, the two walk away from the scene holding hands.

REVIEW:

What Norwegian Drillbit lacks in story, it makes up for in being so badly made and ridiculous that it becomes lovable. It's inept and silly but at the same time it's so entertaining that I really can't bring myself to hate it. It's also similar to Live Undead (1991) in the sense that you can watch it and feel oddly nostalgic, as if you would have made something just like it as a teen with your friends. Running around in the woods, drinking beer, smoking cigarettes, cycling, reading porno mags you probably stole, playing soccer and getting killed by drill-wielding weirdos. Who else can relate, am I right?

Well with the nostalgia-bug qualities aside, let's take a look at the actual movie. It's very, very bad in almost every way. The camera work and the editing is a mess. There are several shots where the actors laugh, stifle laughter or stare at the camera. Every other shot is followed up with half a second of outtake footage or alternate takes. The camera jitters so much you'd swear the camera person was running off of little sleep and a lot of coffee. The credits are typed out over a computer or a TV screen. Shots will randomly shift into slow-motion, even when it doesn't make any sense. But all of these bad qualities make the movie really funny and even charming in a way, and it's never boring despite having plenty of scenes where characters do nothing. Hell, you could even making a drinking game out of this thing. Take a swig every time you see a random person riding their bike or staring at the camera.

The kills are twisted and juvenile in theory but they're so badly executed that they're almost guaranteed to make the viewer laugh. Random kids and teens are chased down and drilled in the stomach or back, one gets a drill to the ass cheek and another gets his manhood destroyed by the tool. And all the while this unidentifiable meat is spilling out of the actor's shirt or pants, covered in what looks to be red syrup. One of my favorite kills takes place when a kid with the ugliest, most obviously fake wig is playing with a soccer ball and running around in the grass behind a building. Suddenly, the killer leaps down from a tree and falls on the kid to kill him, while hitting him so hard that his wig flies off of his head. That nearly killed me from laughter.

If this movie were more widely available, I could definitely see it being one of the more well-known bad 80's SOV's. After all, it's only the best SOV where a teenager is actually tortured with fireworks. It needs to be seen to be believed, and I would encourage any SOV enthusiast to hunt down a copy.

RELEASES:

-I'm not sure where you could get a legitimate copy of this movie, but I've seen it floating around as part of a bootleg DVD with Jon's other movies, under the name Videogore.

Homecoming (2018)

Homecoming (2018) - Finland

Directed by: Esa Jussila

ABOUT THE FILM:

Homecoming, or Kotiinpaluu in Finnish, is the latest film from filmmaker Esa Jussila, who has graced the vibrant and thriving Finnish indie scene with incredibly gory and violent yet entertaining and well-made movies. Some of his best work includes stuff like Trans*, Parasite Quarantine and Goremageddon 1 and 2. He has another movie that looks great but I haven't seen yet, and that movie is They Rest in the North. Perhaps that'll make for a future review..

Anyway, Homecoming is Esa's latest short film that was made from 2016 to 2018. The movie tells the story of a group of career criminals who have given up on their devious occupation, leaving it dead and buried along with one of their former associates. The group of men try to go on with their lives, trying to come to terms with the fact that they'll have to live with their crimes. But one night, they get a call from the associate they believed to be dead, and things turn ugly fast..

REVIEW:

I admit that I've been following the director, Esa Jussila's work for a couple of years now and have always loved his output. His movies are endlessly entertaining on top of being incredibly well-made, and I never thought that Goremageddon and Goremageddon 2 could ever be topped.

But then I saw Homecoming.

Wow. This movie left me dumbstruck, and in the best way possible, because this movie is damn near perfect. Whereas Esa's other films like the Goremageddon duology and Parasite Quarantine had endless over-the-top and fun gore with a fun story, Homecoming drives itself on telling an engaging and powerful story that's aided by the brutality rather than built around it. The movie doesn't have a lot of dialogue, but it does an incredible job telling the story and developing its characters through its visuals. As the movie progresses, everything slowly begins to unfold and to tie together and the ends in a massive punch to the gut. On top of the top-notch writing and screenplay, the actors play their characters flawlessly and give chilling performances.

One thing I've seen in a lot of thrillers and crime films is that the music sometimes can be very overbearing to the point where it ruins the atmosphere. Not this time. The music is added in subtly and when it kicks in, it matches the scene perfectly and further builds the atmosphere. The movie may not be a splatterfest, and the gore may be sparing, but the gore that we do get is downright brutal; it's executed so beautifully and the special effects are realistic, compared to the cartoonish gore in Jussila's previous films.

But the real show-stealer in this movie is the visuals. This movie builds an incredible atmosphere with its lighting and its coloring. The lighting is gorgeous and the camera work is so smooth and sharply done; Homecoming is a very polished film from top to bottom. I have no idea what kind of budget the crew was working with, but they worked miracles with it when making this movie.

Homecoming is just further proof that the Finnish know their stuff when it comes to not only making horror movies, but making movies in general. I still haven't seen a movie from this country that I didn't enjoy, and would definitely like to review more of them in the future. As fun as German splatter can be, Finnish gore and horror films may be over-the-top also but are usually better-made and have excellent production values. Finland, my hat's off to you. And I thank Esa Jussila for making such a great movie.

I can not recommend this movie enough. Please watch it.

RELEASES:

-Homecoming was released on DVD in Canada by D.I.Y. Productions in 2021. The extras consist of a behind-the-scenes featurette, and two bonus short films called Rajalinja and Pussy With An Uzi. This DVD release was limited to 25 copies. 

-The movie is available to watch on YouTube for free, with subtitles! You can watch the movie here.

Blutbad Productions Triple-Threat!

Hello everyone. In my first review of the year 2021, I'll be returning to an indie film group whose movies I kinda shit on in some of my earliest reviews. That film group is Blutbad Productions, a small company from Austria that used to make zero-budget gore shorts in the mid to late 2000's. Their films are pretty rare and it took me a while to finally hunt some of them down and see them. Unfortunately, the ones I have seen were very disappointing and didn't inspire a lot of hope in checking out their other work. But eventually I did find copies of the rest of their movies and decided to finally give them a look.

What are my thoughts? Well, let's see..

A Guads Neix Joah (2005)

This is the first ever film in the very small Blutbad Productions library. It came about very spontaneously one night, when the two filmmakers suddenly decided to make a gore film.

The "story" goes that it's New Years Eve, and on a night of celebration and wine-drinking, two buddies sit down and watch some gore movies. They put in a DVD copy of Sebastian Zeglarski's short film Goretrip (2005). They fire up the movie and Goretrip's metal soundtrack blares through the speakers. The camera pans across the room, showing the many posters on the walls, including a lot of Olaf Ittenbach movies.

While watching the movie, an argument breaks out over who gets the last of the wine. The one in the glasses attacks the other and starts punching and kicking him. This escalates to the guy hacking away at his friend's arm with a meat cleaver, before cutting his stomach open and then going on about his night.

There's not really a lot I can say about this one. The metal music playing over the top of it is fine, but the rest of the short is just so silly and poorly filmed with poor lighting and the some unconvincing gore effects. Now, this short is not meant to be taken seriously, and was obviously only made for fun. Nothing wrong with that, but the end result is only minimally entertaining.

Directed by David Mayrhofer.

I Cut My Hand (2005)

A man very slowly cuts his hand open. The loud techno soundtrack gave me a headache. Next.

Directed by David Mayrhofer.

Revenge Beyond Death (2006)

Finally, a Blutbad Productions movie that was kind of worth sitting through! Granted, I'm not sure if I'll be watching it again, but hey it's a start!

This 28 minute short has by far the most plot out of any Blutbad Productions movie. A group of guys set up camp in the middle of the woods, where they smoke a lot of cigarettes and drink a boatload of beer. A couple of the guys to go looking for something, leaving three of the others at the camp site. In a drunken fit, two of them get into a fight and one ends up accidentally killing the other by hitting him in the head with a rock. Him and a witness try to cover up the body by putting a plastic sandwich bag over his head and burying him in leaves. The group comes back and they find out what happened, but decide to forget about it. One year later, they revisit the forest for another party but this time, the man rises from his shallow grave and sets out to get his revenge..

That was almost a long plot description for this fairly short movie, but even then the story isn't anything we haven't seen before. In Revenge Beyond Death, he characters don't really have any personality other than getting so drunk that they don't realize they may be hurting their peers, but a lot of character development isn't really necessary for this short movie. I also find it funny that after sitting under leaves in the forest for a year, the killer's body hasn't decayed at all, but that's kind of nitpicky. 

The acting and sound mix, like every other Blutbad movie, is poor at best so it's not really worth discussing. A lot of the gore and the carnage is offscreen, and we usually only see the aftermath. However, the gore that we do get to see is decent by amateur movie standards. It's probably the best gore these guys have done.

Revenge Beyond Death may not be the greatest thing ever, but it's the only Blutbad movie I can truly recommend. If you wanna kill half an hour, you could definitely do worse than this.

Directed by David Mayrhofer.

CONCLUSION:

The last film that Blutbad Productions released was Schlampen Schlächter, released in 2006. There was going to be a sequel, and that DVD even came with a trailer for the sequel, but I don't think it was ever released. They also have a short film called Sick Man, which came as part of the German short film collection Masters of Trash. They also had another film called Rape My Innocence which I believe was made around 2007, but the only evidence of is existence is a trailer on YouTube and nothing was released other than that trailer.

Even though I may have been disappointed by Blutbad Productions' short films, I'm glad I at least got the chance to finally see them. These shorts are pretty tough to find and even to this day, underground amateur-splatter fans are still talking about them, and there are quite a few people who like these shorts. That's awesome, and I'm glad people can enjoy and appreciate them for what they are.

RELEASES:
-A Guads Neix Joah was released on DVD by Blutbad Productions in 2006, and comes with burnt-in German subtitles. Extras include the I Cut My Hand short, a Making-Of FX segment, and a few trailers for other Blutbad releases.

-Revenge Beyond Death was released on DVD in 2006, but the DVD comes with just the movie and no extras.