Catcall 2 (2019)

Catcall 2 (2019) - Canada

Directed by: Patrick Fortin

ABOUT THE FILM:

(Special thanks to Patrick Fortin for providing me with a screener for review!)

Catcall 2 is the latest film from Quebec-based filmmaker Patrick Fortin, wherein a pair of women continue an onslaught of hyper-violence against the pigs daring enough to taunt, harass and follow them, topped with a noisy soundtrack by Smegma Pile and Kids Kill Kids.

REVIEW:

Similar to the first Catcall, this sequel dishes out over-the-top gore and guts without skipping a beat. Heads are smashed and bashed into smithereens, men are shot until they are nothing but unrecognizable matter, and greasy, bloody stains coat the walls and the streets.

Sounds like a great time, right? It definitely is, but there are a few small complaints I have. For such a short film, there is very little story to take in and some of the scene transitions feel confusing, such as a dance/party sequence following a hyper-gory killing spree near the end. One other issue is the inconsistency in the special effects. The special effects were executed courtesy of Camille Monette and Gore Gore Dave, with additional props provided by filmmaker/effects artist James Bell. The props vary in quality, with some looking great and some looking noticeably fake and cheesy, such as a prop head that has its eyes gouged near the start of the film. There are also several shots where blood tubes are visible without having to look for them, which can be distracting.

With those gripes aside, this is still a really fun short that I can recommend.

RELEASES:

Catcall 2 was released on DVD by Goriest Production et Macabre Édition on a 

limited run of only 30 copies, along with a few bonus short films:

Fucker Apocalypse (great title!)

Young Blood

Fisheye

Sequelle

Extremism Breaks My Balls (2000)

Extremism Breaks My Balls (2000) - Sweden
Directed by: Nicholas Debot

ABOUT THE FILM:
A 5-minute short film about a young couple who are making love, when suddenly, a pair of thugs burst into their bedroom and castrate the young man with a meat cleaver for committing adultery and for voting for an extremist right-wing party.

REVIEW:
Without attempting to bring any personal biases or political views into this review, Extremism Breaks My Balls certainly gets its point across in its short runtime. There are some people who feel a little too strongly about politics, to the point where they will commit acts of violence against others. Sometimes, these extremists are allowed to work in the government, and will go out of their ways to force their views onto others, even if it means invading their privacy. I personally think that the castration sequence is symbolic of such a concept, and the way it is presented is not only graphic, but very effective in driving the message.

RELEASES:
-Extremism Breaks My Balls was included as an extra on a double-bill DVD of Pearls Before Swine and Bloodlust, released in Sweden by Njutafilms.

Nocta (2019)

Nocta (2019) - Germany

Directed by: Master W and Crippler Criss

ABOUT THE FILM:

Nocta follows 40-year old Ernst, a sheltered, devout Catholic man who 

goes above and beyond effort to live a life free of sin. Come his 40th birthday, his pal 

Till decides to throw him a birthday party and help him make new friends, including hooking him up with a woman. Till invites his Afro-German friend Shabbi, who is a believer in the Islamic faith. Although dubious at first, what with their religious differences, Ernst tries to learn to overcome these differences and find trust in Shabbi and his new friends.

As the party starts, Ernst quickly grows skeptical of his surroundings. There's alcohol, marijuana, obnoxious music, strobe lights, dancing and sex. However, Ernst is distracted as he's introduced to Nocta, a beautiful young woman who he believes to be more than human; an angel, if you will.

Nocta is quite the contrary, as she smokes marijuana and talks extensively (and rather graphically) of how alcohol triggers her menstrual cycle in the worst possible way.

Till ends up making Ernst and Nocta unknowingly consume alcoholic drinks, in

the hopes that the two will be driven to have sex. Shabbi and Nocta then tempt Ernst to smoke marijuana, stating that the oils were once used by Jesus. Ernst is blinded by love and wants nothing more than to express his love toward Nocta. Unfortunately, she becomes sick in the process, as she doesn't believe in love, coupled with unknowingly drinking alcohol. She finds herself vomiting and bleeding simultaneously, and everything escalates as startling revelations are made...

REVIEW:

Nocta is the latest film from P.S.Y.C.H.O. Productions. They are an independent

film-crew based out of Silschede that consistently pump out ridiculous and over-the-top, 

yet immensely entertaining splatterfests, of which Nocta is no exception. 

In fact, Nocta is so over-the-top and extreme that it transcends being a splatter film.

Rarely do films that are this gory attempt to challenge the viewer with a story. Often times,

they are made simply to showcase special effects. Sometimes whatever plot given is only there to build up around the gore scenes. However, Nocta slowly takes its time to build up to

the intense gore scenes, perfectly balances humor with gore and terror, and carefully fleshes out its characters. Ernst, portrayed by the talented Jim Aal, is a Catholic man struggling to find friends and love, who tries to live up to his racist father's expectations after the death of his mother. Shabbi, portrayed by Raping Ras, is a man who is faced with violent oppression because of his race and his religion, but he protests with peace and with reasoning. When the two work together, they work together well, differences aside.

As the story finally builds up to our gore, we are given gore in spades. Throats are slit, limbs

are torn apart and chopped in half, vital organs and jugulars are ripped out; blood and fecal matter

flies all over the place; there is so much blood that a dam should be built.

In addition to the blood spraying like a firehose, the effects, crafted by gore-wizard Sebastian Zeglarski, glisten with red beauty and will more than satiate the average gorehound's appetite.

Speaking of glistening, for such a low-budget production, Nocta is a very polished-looking film! Shot in HD, every gruesome detail pops out like an eyeball, and the lighting is goregeous in most spots!

There are few cons I can personally find with this film. The few that I have are a 

few minor technical errors, what with occasional visible equipment and wonky sound in some areas. But of course, these fleeting negatives are demolished by all the positives. The entire cast hams up their performances, but that only makes them even more entertaining and memorable.

I've been psyched for Nocta ever since it was first announced, and it exceeded my expectations. Nocta is one of my favorite German splatter films I've seen in a while.

I highly recommend Nocta to fellow gorehounds.

RELEASES:

-Nocta was released on DVD and Blu-Ray by P.S.Y.C.H.O. Productions in 2019.

-Extras:

Audio Commentary

The Making Of Nocta

Interviews

Bloopers

Jim-Aal Special

Music Videos

Trailer

-The film was also released on Blu-Ray in Japan!

Please consider supporting independent horror cinema and purchasing a copy of Nocta! You can buy it from the filmmakers here:

https://www.facebook.com/PsychoProductionsNRW/

The Man Who Lived Under the Porch (2019)

The Man Who Lived Under the Porch (2019) - United States

Directed by: Travis Vulture

ABOUT THE FILM:

The Man Who Lived Under the Porch is a brand new short film from haunted house scare actor Travis Vulture.

This experimental short plays out as a first-hand experience of a woman who has been captured and held captive by a demented man who lives under her porch. The man is filthy, donning tattered and torn, blood (and feces?)-stained clothing, and sports very greasy and nappy hair. He introduces himself to the woman as a self-proclaimed "encyclopedia salesman", and berates her for not purchasing one of his books. In a fit of rage, he destroys one of his books. As the short progresses, we bear witness as the man seems to switch personas, from a salesman, to a dancer, to a culinary artist.

The man becomes increasingly more hostile and violent towards his victim. He proceeds to cut out portions of his own hair and eat it on a sandwich, threatening to make his victim into a sandwich as well.

REVIEW:

This short film, while not necessarily scary or gory, is definitely intense and there are a lot of small details to digest.

Travis Vulture is a very convincing scare actor who truly proves to be intimidating in this lo-fi video romp. Travis successfully showcases his range as an actor through his character, as his character's change in persona is shown through his behavior. One minute he's screaming expletives at the victim, played by Emma Lenar, and tearing things apart, and the next he's eating a hair-sandwich and imploring the victim to have a bite. What I find interesting about this concept is that it takes a profession such as an encyclopedia salesman, which isn't usually considered scary, and actually makes it disturbing.

The man's state of mental decay is further emphasized not only by his own body language, but through effects and filters as well. I should mention that the short was shot using a Panasonic VHS camera, and was filmed in one take with no edits, barring a few in-camera effects that were used during filming. The home-video quality image only makes the given scenario feel more visceral and dirty. It feels as if I'm truly watching through the eyes of a victim who wants nothing more than to retreat back to their brighter life, when instead she is roped into the midst of this twisted man's world. Occasionally the image will invert, mirror or turn pixelated which further brings the madness to life, during which point the man is having a breakdown or transitioning into a different state of mind, thus successfully capturing his mental instability.

Lastly, underneath all of the madness we're treated to a couple of great brutal death metal tracks, courtesy of Wisconsin-based one-man-band Putrid Pile. The music fits perfectly when matched with a mentally unstable individual.

At first glance, the average viewer could brush off The Man as just another cheap YouTube horror short. But if one pays attention and examines the behaviors portrayed, it becomes evident how well-thought out such a piece is. This little piece of experimental performance art is absolutely worth checking out, and I'm looking forward to seeing more work from these filmmakers in the future.

RELEASES:

The Man Who Lived Under the Porch is currently available to watch on YouTube.

It can be viewed here.

Catcall/Gorefest 2 (2019)

Catcall/Gorefest 2 (2019) - Canada

Directed by: Patrick Fortin

ABOUT THE FILMS:

Catcall and Gorefest 2 are a pair of short films, both under 10 minutes in length, made by underground Canadian filmmaker Patrick Fortin.

Catcall takes place in Quebec and tells the story of a relentless young lass as she cooks up her grisly revenge on all the men who constantly hound on her.

As for Gorefest 2, whereas no real story is easily interpreted, there is an endless barrage of bizarre and violent imagery. Across the 6-minute runtime we are treated with demons, clowns, chainsaws, vomiting and plenty of gore and melting body parts, a la Street Trash.

Some savory fixings in Gorefest 2

REVIEW:

Whereas the shorts don't provide much in terms of story, gorehounds will sure as hell have a lot of fun with these little sickies! Director Patrick Fortin truly packs a punch here with an endless array of truly grotesque but thoroughly entertaining gore effects sequences. Not only are the effects very well-crafted and well-implemented, but they prove to truly get under one's skin, due in part to the sound effects provided. The endless sounds of spurting and squishing will leave one wanting to clean their ears out after a while.

It's also clear that a lot of care and attention to detail went into visually crafting the films as well. The shorts are tightly edited and lit, with some interesting cinematography. Whereas Catcall is shot on digital video, Gorefest 2 almost looks to have been shot on film. There is plenty of grain and scratches present, and the colors are very bright and vibrant; both films definitely give off a Grindhouse sort of feel.

Definitely peep these shorts out if you're a fan of Grindhouse-style cinema and films like Street Trash.

Sweet revenge in "Catcall"

RELEASES:

Catcall and Gorefest 2 were released together as a double-feature DVD by Gore Addict and Goriest Production, a DVD which was limited to a run of 100 copies.

Extras:

-English subtitles

-Making of Gorefest 2

Please consider supporting indie horror and buy the movie here:

https://patrickfortin.wixsite.com/patrickntu/product-page/catcall-gorefest-2-cover-2-50-copies

Backyard Gore Torture (2019)

Backyard Gore Torture (2019) - United States

Directed by: Gore Filth

ABOUT THE FILM:

Backyard Gore Torture is the first official short film from underground filmmaker/gore movie enthusiast Gore Filth. Shot with a VHS camcorder over the course of one afternoon, this very modest "horrific home movie" plays out like a faux snuff film, as a couple castrates and tortures a pedophile who they caught off of the street. The film comes to an end after the camera man instructs his lover to saw off his hand and his foot, as his bloodlust has not yet been satiated.

REVIEW:

Backyard Gore Torture is very self-deprecating and doesn't take itself seriously at all, and as a result we get a thoroughly entertaining, if inept 12-minute short film.

Immediately, the inspiration behind such a creation is obvious in the opening credits. The camera pans across walls and shelves decorated with posters and obscure horror DVDs and memorabilia, with the credits crudely written on paper, an opening familiar to that of Chainsaw Scumfuck. Meanwhile, grindcore music can be heard blaring from speakers off camera, as the credits roll.

The scene moves to the backyard, where a hooded and masked figure takes a hedge trimmer to a very crudely designed dummy, fully stuffed with cotton with several blood bags in place of where the dummy is to be cut. As if the visuals weren't funny enough, there are several instances where blood bags can be seen falling out of place, and there are malfunctioning blood tubes all over the place. Gore and props seem to consist of store-bought meats and Halloween shop prosthetics and mannequins.

Backyard Gore Torture is an absolute mess, albeit a very entertaining one. The creativity and the "horrific" special effects really help make for an interesting and fun viewing experience.

If you are a fan of (quite literally) backyard productions made on the ultra cheap or are just looking for a good laugh, Backyard Gore Torture makes for a great candidate.

RELEASES:

-Backyard Gore Torture was released on DVD independently by Horrific Home Movies, and has no extras. Since the film was shot on VHS in one take with no edits, the DVD is just a rip of the tape.

Les Démons de la Cave (1998)

Les Démons de la Cave (1998) - France

Directed by: Yoann Malnati

ABOUT THE FILM:

Les Démons de la Cave is an early 44 minute effort by French cinematographer Yoann Malnati, who went on to work on many Canadian television series and films. This early horror short film tells a rather familiar story of a young French man named Franc, who finds an ancient relic in a box hidden away in a cellar. It is soon learned that anyone who touches this relic will become possessed by a demonic entity, and Franc spends the film attempting to fight off this deadly deity.

REVIEW:

Les Démons was produced and filmed in France on weekends over the course of over a year. Malnati wrote, directed and starred in the film at the young age of 17.

Within only about 10 minutes of watching, it becomes clear that Les Démons is a film with naked ambitions. Whereas there are a few clear nods and homages to films such as Evil Dead 2, the film maintains originality and takes its own twist on the classic lore of unearthing demonic spirits by newfound relics. For a 44 minute film, I never felt bored and often found myself on the edge of my seat, anticipating what would happen next. Every scene is carefully interspersed and well-paced; every movement of the actors and the cameras are well-choreographed and the editing for such a low-budget production is tight. The film, for the most part, takes place indoors and is well lit with a nice selection of yellows, reds and greens to give each scene the appropriate feeling and set an awesome atmosphere. Speaking of atmosphere, the film's original score is haunting, well-crafted and further helps set up an amazing atmosphere.

Director and star Malnati steals the show as Franc. Malnati is surprisingly proficient in exhibiting body language and is not afraid to go all out with his performance. This man bashes himself into walls and piles of wood and junk, flips over tables and pulls all kinds of stunts with style. While the actors aren't very good at conveying emotion through voice, all of the cast members deliver strong showings, which is surprising considering they're just a bunch of kids.

The special effects are also very well-done and nicely implemented. The gore effects are never over-the-top and feel moderately realistic, and are used sparingly but used well. The monster and creature effects are well-made and look really good for such a low-budget production! It obviously took a lot of time and careful attention to detail when crafting every mask, hand and other limbs.

Les Démons is probably one of my favorite movies that I've watched since I started To Obscurity and Beyond. Everything about it is awesome and I highly, HIGHLY recommend you looking for this film! It is absolutely worth your time, especially if you love creature features!

RELEASES:

-Les Démons de la Cave was independently released on VHS by Malnaski Production in 1998.

-The movie is officially available to watch on YouTube, courtesy of Malnati himself!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ainvNy8VhU8&t=126s

Das Weststadt Massaker (1991-1994)

Das Weststadt Massaker (1991-1994) - Germany

Directed by: Andreas Bethmann

BACKGROUND / ABOUT THE FILM:

Das Weststadt Massaker is the earliest available film from prolific German splatter/porn director Andreas Bethmann, who is better known for his works such as Dämonenbrut, Rossa Venezia and Help Me I Am Dead. Bethmann began making films at the age of 18 in 1988 with his debut film Begrabt in Tief (yet to be released), and he continued to make amateur films for 10 years until he could finally afford to make his visions come to life at a reasonable cost.

Das Weststadt Massaker was one of those amateur films. The film is combined of three separate shorts from 1991 and 1994, and the storyline is that of...a killer in a mask setting loose to wreak havoc upon any and all he finds in the woods.

REVIEW:

Of course, the entire thing is in German and there are no English subtitles available, but those really aren't even needed as you can easily follow the plot. The cast, more than likely Bethmann's friends and family members, are all amateurs and the few who actually try to act see laughable results at best.

The camera work is often very shoddy, shaky and poorly done. The poor editing can be forgiven when you consider this film was edited together with two VCR's, which is a very frustrating editing setup to begin with. Aside from scenes that seem to have been included for no reason, there are several slow-motion shots that will draw out scenes to unnecessarily long lengths, which reminded me a lot of an earlier shot-on-video movie called Sledgehammer.

Probably the only thing that makes this film truly worth it are the laughably bad gore effects. The gore, while not good, is available in abundance. There are plenty of scenes of decapitations, stabbings, castrations, eviscerations, dismembered limbs and people getting run over by cars. Each effect has a considerable amount of (watery) blood involved and plenty of meat and viscera.

Despite all of the bad things I've said about this movie, in some weird way it's still sort of entertaining; even funny at times. It just goes to show that no matter how bad films like this can be, there will always be at least a certain charm or element to them that makes them enjoyable! Even if it feels like your typical Violent Shit knockoff, Das Weststadt Massaker still stands as a moderately entertaining viewing experience and a collector's item for fans of German underground gore.

RELEASES:

-Das Weststadt Massaker 1 was originally released on VHS in January, 1991 by AB-Video Pro with an uncut runtime of 21 minutes.

-Das Weststadt Massaker 2 was originally released on VHS in September, 1991 by AB-Video Pro with an uncut runtime of 34 minutes.

    -Extras:

     Das Weststadt Massaker 1

-Das Weststadt Massaker 3 was originally released on VHS in 1994 by AB-Video Pro.

A Bad Day (1999)

A Bad Day (1999) - Germany

Directed by: Jens Wolf

ABOUT THE FILM:

A Bad Day is yet another obscure German amateur film from the late 1990's. The movie starts innocently enough, with a bunch of teenagers in the forest, until one of the boys gets pissed off with a girl and things turn ugly very quickly. The boy ends up brutally beating and killing the girl, and continues to hunt down and kill his friends as they try to stop him.

 

REVIEW:

A Bad Day is a genuinely entertaining first effort from then young director Jens Wolf, who later went on to create the zombie-splatter drama epic Noctem. I must say that I wasn't expecting anything good, considering the cover is just in black with the title and no screenshots, but boy was I wrong.

Each different part of the movie is divided into its own chapter, with intercut title cards telling us about this next segment. It's a great way to structure this tense little story about a bunch of youngsters essentially having a bad day.

For a movie essentially made by what I'm assuming are teenagers, this one is surprisingly well shot and edited, as the director uses some creative and inventive camera angles and techniques. The lighting is all natural (as the film is completely shot outdoors), and is never too dark or too bright, letting the camera focus on the action.

Another thing I wasn't expecting was how gory this film is. There are many kills across the 40 minute runtime, including impalings, prolonged scenes of gory dismemberment with blood gushing everywhere, suicide and so much more. The effects actually aren't that bad either, although they reminded me a lot of Das Komabrutale Duell.

The movie also has a soundtrack made up of cool classic rock tracks. When else in your life will you watch a movie where someone gets cut in half to the tune of Sweet Home Alabama by Lynyrd Skynyrd?

It's obvious that Jens Wolf is a talented director who is more than capable of crafting an enjoyable movie. If you can find A Bad Day or any of Jens' other work, I can highly recommend it, especially if you're a gorehound.

RELEASES:

-A Bad Day was independently released on VHS by GOREProductions in 1999.

    -Extras:

    Behind-the-Scenes/Outtakes

The Last Days of Livermore (2016)

The Last Days of Livermore (2016) - United States

Directed by: Nathan Hine

ABOUT THE FILM:

The Last Days of Livermore is a short horror film from up-and-coming director Nathan Hine, the mind behind small independent film crew Hardgore Core Productions.

Hine has been active for several years on his YouTube channel reviewing and promoting underground splatter and horror movies, sharing his thoughts and his endless love for the genre and the community centered around it. Hine had been itching to make his own films for as long as he could remember, however, it wasn’t until 2016 that he had finally set out to do so.

The film's storyline focuses primarily on two individuals who are struggling to deal with issues they are having with their relationship. In an effort to better understand the situation and come to terms with each other, they travel out into the beautiful, yet eerie abandoned town of Livermore, Pennsylvania. They take a walk and end up at the local cemetery, where they talk and attempt to correct their troubles. It is then that things start to go horribly wrong.

 

REVIEW:

Being the first ever film produced by Hardgore Core Productions, it is not free from error and it is expected that there will be a couple of issues.

The sound mix is a little stilted in some places and you have the occasional line of dialogue that could have used another take. However, the few minor setbacks do not overshadow all of the amazing things that this short film has to offer. For starters, the cinematography is well thought-out and well-shot. Livermore, which is a beautiful real-life ghost town, was the perfect setting and made for some hauntingly gorgeous shots. The film successfully captures the unnerving atmosphere of the place. The script and story are simple, but both work well enough to be carried across the short 20 minute runtime.

The special effects are nothing short of awesome. The blood is realistic in color and consistency, yet flows like a firehose, which will please gorehounds, and the makeup effects are done well enough to get under the average viewer’s skin..

Overall, this is a solid first effort from the Hardgore Core crew.

Hine is hard at work at getting his first full-length feature film The Sideling Hill professionally pressed and prepped for distribution. Meanwhile, both him and the rest of the crew have just wrapped up shooting a new short film called Keepsake and continue to aid other indie filmmakers on their projects, namely Jim Roberts from Blind Sight Productions.

The Hardgore Core crew are obviously very passionate about the splatter subgenre and dedicated to delivering the goods. This makes them definitely worth looking out for.

RELEASES:

-This film was independently released on DVD by Hardgore Core Productions in 2018.

    Extras:

    -Intro

    -Director's Cut

    -Final Cut

    -Director's Cut Trailer

    -The Sideling Hill Trailer

-Released on VHS by UK-based Dead Format Films in 2017.

-Featured on the First Annual Short Film Compilation DVD from King of the Witches and Dead Format Films, released in 2017.

Nasty Nancy (2010)

Nasty Nancy (2010) - Croatia

Directed by: Sandi Mance

ABOUT THE FILM:

This low-budget Croatian outing features Nancy, a young, honest girl who is doing her best to pass her classes in a school where the teachers will only pass you if they can get in your pants. When she is failed on her final exam, after all of her hard work and effort, she sets out for revenge on the perverted teachers by sending out fake invitations to an orgy at an abandoned building. She dons a Japanese-style schoolgirl outfit, grabs a katana and then the bloodshed begins...

REVIEW:

It's quite unfortunate that (as far as I can tell) director Sandi Mance hasn't made another film since, because Nasty Nancy really has a lot going for it.

The only negative aspect is that the lighting is really bad in most scenes. Sometimes, scenes are so darkly lit that it's really hard to see the onscreen action and there is plenty of visual noise present, as this was shot with a cheaper camera. However, these negative aspects don't hold the film back.

The acting is stupidly hammy enough to pass for your usual Troma fare, but this actually enhances the viewing experience, because this film is not to be taken seriously at all. The movie is barely feature length with a runtime of 49 minutes, but it never feels boring and really delivers the goods.

Minus some obvious and fake-looking CGI blood, the gore effects are well-executed and there is plenty of dismemberment and bloodshed on display. The special effects were done by Miroslav Lakobrija, who also did the effects for the infamous A Serbian Film, so you know you're in for something awesome.

There's also several nods to the bizarre Japanese splatter films such as Tokyo Gore Police and Machine Girl, such as Nancy's schoolgirl outfit and katana, and the occasional Manga-style speech bubbles and Japanese writing.

If you're a fan of cheesy low-budget goodness, especially with a Japanese influence, Nasty Nancy may just be what you're looking for. I'm hoping to find more films from Croatia in the future.

RELEASES:

-Nasty Nancy was independently released on DVD by Castrum Films in 2010.

     Extras:

     -Trailer

     -Film Premiere

     -Bloopers

     -Photo Gallery

Radioactive Cannibal Vikings from Hell (2007)

Radioactive Cannibal Vikings from Hell (2007) - Sweden

Directed by: Nils Härgestam

ABOUT THE FILM:

Sweden-based indie movie-makers Nils B-Films brings us this tale of four criminals who are on the run as they come across a house, encountering a family of vikings that have long been cut off from society and are still stuck in the old times. It just so happens to be that this family of vikings are also cannibals.

..Oh, and they're radioactive.

REVIEW:

I had no idea what to expect when I first sat down to watch this. With a title like that, it could only have been great, right? Well...

I have to give the filmmakers credit for at least bothering to tell us a story. Each scene transitions fairly smoothly and tells us all we need to know about our characters in order to follow them through the film. Despite the obvious nods to Peter Jackson's Bad Taste, the story is still fun and helps keep the viewer entertained. The acting works well enough for such a low-budget film, as the cast gives a delivery hammier than a slab of bacon. The gore effects are so amateurish and laughable that they almost make Der Henker look like Tom Savini's finest hour... Okay, maybe not that bad. Some of the creatures look kind of cool.

Shot on low-quality digital video and edited with Windows Movie Maker. Despite the cheap camera, everything is shot well enough and everything is focused. The editing is serviceable for a product of second-rate editing software, and the English subtitles are at least well-timed.

Overall, I'd say that this film was a passable effort. While nothing too special, it's at least a fun watch for a rainy afternoon.

RELEASES:

-Unfortunately I couldn't find any information on this film's DVD release, if there ever was one. However, this film is available to watch online officially. I will provide a link below.

https://vimeo.com/8458110

Schlampen Schlächter (2006)

Schlampen Schlächter (2006) - Austria

Directed by: David Mayrhofer

ABOUT THE FILM:

The Austria-based film crew Blutbad Productions returns with another short tale of grisly carnage, Schlampen Schlächter (roughly translating to The Slut Butcher).

Schlampen Schlächter tells the story of a man who comes home after a long day's work, with a bouquet of flowers. We later find out that it's him and his wife's anniversary. But uh-oh, he walks in on his wife having sex with another man! As a result, he starts cutting himself, before he gets a better idea.. He decides to get bloody revenge on his cheating slut wife!

REVIEW:

I'm not going to lie, so far I've been disappointed with the output from Blutbad Productions. After years of searching for these films and hearing such good things, I've been let down by how mediocre they actually turned out to be so far.

I really wanted to like this one, because it does have a few good elements to it, but unfortunately, the negative aspects outweigh the good.

The Good:

The filmmakers were clearly trying to give us a story with interesting characters. Perhaps I'm missing something more, due to the language barrier, but they were at least trying to tell us something.

The Bad:

Most importantly, the acting kills any kind of tension or investment that the viewer could have felt. The performances are completely lifeless and void of any emotion, therefore making it impossible to feel for the characters. Even if I understood German, I wouldn't be able to follow the movie because the sound mix is so terrible, you can barely hear the "actors." The fake cries of pain from the actress got irritating within 15 seconds, and she just never shut up. I was waiting for the guy to just cut her tongue out.

On that note, the special effects feel half-hearted and the camera will shy away from most of the carnage. The camera work is shaky, the lighting is shitty, the editing is inconsistent and choppy; there is just so much wrong with this short that I could not enjoy it.

RELEASES:

-Schlampen Schlächter was self-released on DVD in 2006 by Blutbad Productions.

    Extras:

    -Trailer: Schlampen Schlächter

    -Blutbad Productions Trailers

Fetisch: Das Porträt (1998)

Fetisch: Das Porträt (1998) - Germany

Directed by: Christian Meinert and Markus Helmecke

ABOUT THE FILM:

Fetisch was made during the summer of 1998 with a VHS camera, a videotape recorder and a budget of less than 50 Deutschmarks. Whereas it was originally made simply to test splatter effects and to entertain themselves and their friends, the creators Christian and Markus were surprised when their film garnered a lot of attention in the underground film scene and even got to be screened a few times. This inspired the creators to continue making films.

This 19-minute short plays out kind of like a documentary. It revolves around a camera crew who interviews a cold, ruthless serial killer as he describes all of the murders he has committed in grueling detail. At some points, the camera team even follows him around as he commits his ghastly crime. Absolutely none of the camera crew spares any effort to step in and help the victims, making the whole program feel much more shady..

REVIEW:

I must say that I was pleasantly surprised by this little short film.

As opposed to most of the other movies I've reviewed, this one had a plot and actually took time to flesh it out across the run time. Although slightly derivative of other works such as Man Bites Dog, the story is well-paced and will actually keep the viewer interested. Even though the story is used primarily to set up and connect the various splatter scenes, it still works much better than just juxtaposing each scene with no consistency.

On that note, the special effects feel perfect for such a low-budget film. The gore makeup is decent and had a fair amount of effort put into it, and the blood isn't crazy over-the-top. It actually felt a little realistic watching the murder scenes.

Despite the language barrier, the acting, while not great, feels believable enough for the given characters and scenarios. The main character seems to have absolutely no remorse or second thoughts for his actions, and the actor manages to sell this with his performance.

Minus a few shots here and there, the film has decent lighting and camera work, and the editing helps keep the film at a consistent pace.

It's obvious that the filmmakers really cared about making this film enjoyable, and they succeeded, especially when they were working with practically nothing. I can see why this one managed to expand beyond their home and gather some attention, because even 21 years later, it deserves to be seen. Overall, this one was actually very good! It's not perfect, but it's a breath of fresh air after wading through some of the garbage I've seen. This film is proof that even the most amateurish and underground movies can be better than the mainstream, because these projects are crafted out of passion, and very, very rarely are they made just to cash in.

If you can find Fetisch, I recommend it.

RELEASES:

-Fetisch was originally released on VHS in 1998 under the brand Badeleben TV, and sold off of the Gory News magazine and the filmmaker's old website.

    Extras:

    -Outtakes

-It was later re-released on a 2-DVD set in 2008, with its cleverly-titled sequel Fetisch 2 by Der Gute Blutfilm.

    Disc 1:

    -Fetisch 1 (with audio commentary)

    -Bonus Short: Magenta (with audio commentary)

    -Set Photos

    Disc 2:

    -Fetisch 2 (with audio commentary)

    -Bonus Short: Schwarz

    -Making of Fetisch 2 - Part 1

    -Making of Fetisch 2 - Part 2

    -Deleted Scenes

Das Komabrutale Kifferduell (2002)

Das Komabrutale Kifferduell (2002) - Germany

Directed by: "Kiffer Ditsch"

ABOUT THE FILM:

Before I start, I would like to state that this film is completely different from Das Komabrutale Duell, which was made before this film by a different director, named Heiko Fipper. Das Komabrutale Kifferduell is a 22-minute short that was made in 2002 by fans of the original Heiko Fipper film.

Das Komabrutale Kifferduell is a very loosely connected series of murder scenes. We see people getting killed by maniacs in Ghostface and Michael Jackson masks, and we follow up with scenes of teenagers smoking pot and then killing each other.. all because of their disturbed childhoods (according to the back of the box, anyway).

REVIEW:

I will be taking this review in a different direction, as I present to you..

How Not To Make a Movie! (In 8 Steps)

-Step 1:

Make sure that you shoot your film in the order you wish to present it and avoid edits; let the camera linger on the action. Shaking the camera constantly to annoy your viewers and give them headaches makes for extra points!

-Step 2:

Anyone starring in your film must suck at acting.

-Step 3:

You're working with a tight budget. In order to cut corners, borrow the family Hi-8 camcorder and dig out old Halloween costumes.

-Step 4:

To achieve making high-end, A-class special effects, legs that are to be cut off should consist of hay and cardboard boxes stuffed inside of a pair of jeans. Blood may consist of watered down ketchup and chocolate sauce, and squibs can be made with firecrackers.

-Step 5:

So that the viewer doesn't get confused at your jumbled mess of a story, make sure that you narrate the action behind the camera while rolling, and make no effort to stifle laughter while filming the grisly gore effects.

-Step 6:

Let's face it, hiring someone to score your film or even earning the rights to use music in your film costs money. In order to avoid this, simply play music off of a speaker behind the camera.

-Step 7:

???

-Step 8:

PROFIT!

Congratulations! You have completed your festering pile of manure!

For the longest time, I never thought that horror movies could get any more amateurish. I've long since been proven wrong, but Das Komabrutale Kifferduell still stands strong as one of the worst amateur films I've ever seen in my life. But come to think of it, I want to believe that this was purposely made to be bad. I have two reasons to back up this claim.

For starters, the back of the DVD cover states that they couldn't show any screenshots, due to the graphic nature of the film. This is an obvious bait, almost as if they wanted to really sell the unsuspecting viewer. And secondly, when doing research, I found a review of another film they did on a long-defunct amateur film website. The film in question was apparently created in 2004 and titled The Newtown Insanity Massacre. According to the reviewer, Newtown was vastly superior to Kifferduell, featuring a coherent story and awesome splatter effects. Unfortunately, that film hasn't seen the light of day, as only a handful of screeners were sent out back then. I would probably have more luck getting this film if the credits in Kifferduell weren't completely made up of fake names. Maybe some day...

Until then, I can only write off Kifferduell as a big joke, as it was likely intended to be.

...Or maybe it is just a big piece of crap.

RELEASES:

-Das Komabrutale Kifferduell was originally released on VHS by DDSP Productions in 2002, and was strictly limited to 100 copies.

Pictured below is the only existing image of the cover for the lost Newtown video, along with a recreation of the cover I made.