Zombarella's House of Whorrors (2019)

Zombarella's House of Whorrors (2019) - United States

Directed by: Tony Masiello, Tim Ritter

ABOUT THE FILM:

Zombarella's House of Whorrors is the ultimate love-letter to the shot-on-video, straight-to-video sleazefest movies of the 80's and 90's while also parading itself as an X-rated version of late night cable access television shows. Filmmakers Tony Masiello, Tim Ritter, and the elusive "Fred Olen Wood" were brought together after all having worked together on previous projects like the anthology Hi-8: Horror Independent 8. Tony approached Tim in 2019 and asked if he would like to make a short film for an upcoming anthology. Tim happily obliged and also sent Tony some old footage that had never been released before, with everything melding together into this tribute to b-movies and late-night television.

The movie plays out as if it were an actual late-night cable access show and does so quite convincingly, with more b-movie trailers and 1-900 number adverts than you can shake a stick at. But the main attraction is an anthology of three short horror stories by Tony Masiello and Tim Ritter, compiled into an anthology called Tales from the Mausoleum, as hosted by the sexy and well-endowed Zombarella! Held within this sleazy anthology are tales of killer dolls, horny aliens, cannibal vampire call-girls from space, a lunatic obsessed with castrating people and many more crazy lo-fi shenanigans!

REVIEW:

Zombarella's House of Whorrors proves successful as an homage to low-budget b-movies and to cable access television, however there are a few nagging flaws that bother me about it. The first time I watched the movie I wasn't a big fan, but after giving it another shot it grew on me and I began to appreciate it more for what it is.

All of the short films, fake advertisements and movie-trailers are a huge mixed bag in terms of quality, production value and entertainment factor. Most of them are solid with premises so ridiculous and cheesy (such as Cannibal Vampire Call-Girl Hookers from Outer Space) that they amount to being the film's best moments, even if they are just adverts and not part of the actual anthology. Some of the trailers and the adverts are compiled from really old footage so the picture quality may change a lot from scene-to-scene, but it's not detrimental and even gives the film more variety to aid the cable-access vibe it was going for.

But then a lot of the adverts get really repetitive and drawn-out, such as the gratuitous amount of 1-900 "adults only" adverts. It feels like they were being added a lot to pad out the runtime more, and they bring the pace of the film down as a result. If there were maybe 2 or 3 of these ads scattered throughout instead of how many are actually there, the pacing problems wouldn't be as nagging or noticeable.

The actual stories in the anthology are interesting and varied in terms of creativity, with my personal favorite being the Computer Date segment due to the writing and copious amounts of gore. Unfortunately most of the acting across all of the shorts is not good, so it was a little hard trying to get invested. I understand that most of these people were just friends of the directors who wanted to be in the movie and aren't professionals. There's nothing wrong with that, but it gets to be distracting at points. However, the acting isn't necessarily super important in a film like this, as the movie is fueled by its creativity. Hell, even a lot of the ads and fake trailers are very funny and well-made, like the one for Wee Willy Winky.

The movie is well-edited and put together, the camera, lighting and sound is consistently decent and a lot of the gore effects are pretty well-done! We get tons of deaths in here featuring castrations, decapitations, axeings, stabbings, guttings, more genital mutilation and so much more!

While Zombarella's House of Whorrors isn't perfect, it's a very entertaining viewing experience with so many different things to offer to its audience. It has sex, it has violence and over-the-top gore, aliens, killer dolls, laughs, and it does nothing more than aim to entertain. They weren't trying to make high art or anything, it's just a bunch of horror fans making stuff other horror fans would enjoy! And I would recommend any self-respecting fan of shot-on-video horror and b-movies purchases a copy.

RELEASES:

-Zombarella's House of Whorrors was released by Tony Masiello himself under his company SOV Horror in 2019. It was their second ever DVD release and is still available today for an absurdly low price at their website. Unfortunately that doesn't stop assholes from pirating his hard work and swapping it around on the internet for free. Not fucking cool, you guys.

I would highly encourage any fans of shot-on-video movies, sex, gore and trash to purchase the movie and anything else Tony has released because he puts in an endless amount of effort into every single release he does! You can purchase the movie here!

The DVD comes with an audio commentary from Tony Masiello, deleted scenes, a bunch of trailers for other SOV Horror releases and an episode of Tony's cable-access show Mondo Bizarro!

Paura il Diavolo (1992)

 

Paura il Diavolo (1992) - United Kingdom

Directed by: Darren Ward

MY 50TH REVIEW:

Before I get into the film itself I'd like to announce that I'm stunned I've made it to 50 reviews. I mean, technically I've already reviewed more than 50 movies/short films, but this is my 50th consecutive review posted, and I'm excited to share it with those who read what I post. For those of you who've stuck with me this long, thank you so much. If it weren't for you guys, this site wouldn't exist or would be completely dead, and I appreciate you giving my stuff a read. Now, let's get into the review proper. And it's the first British film I've reviewed too!

ABOUT THE FILM:

Darren Ward is a British independent filmmaker from the United Kingdom who first became interested in making movies in the late 1980's. He grew a love for horror and wanted to become a special effects artist, and would test out his skills on his buddies. When Darren was finished with school in 1989, he participated in helping make a local zombie film called Dead Time, and would continue to work on independent action and gangster movies for the next few years. In 1992, Darren Ward finally decided to set out and make films of his own, and Paura il Diavolo was his very first attempt at filmmaking. It was self-financed by Darren himself, with a budget of 30 GBP!

In Paura il Diavolo, Darren pays homage to the Italian horror films of the 80's, with his biggest influence on the project being Lamberto Bava's Demons. This 45 minute short film takes place over one dark, stormy night and follows a young man who returns home. The sky rumbles violently and something lands in the backyard in a fiery crash. The man discovers a bag with a note attached, warning him not to look inside the bag as it holds the spirit of an ancient evil. The recipient is advised to destroy the bag as soon as possible. Unfortunately our lead doesn't heed the warning, and undergoes a transformation into a hideous beast hellbent on killing all in its path!

REVIEW:

Similar to My Lovely Burnt Brother, Paura il Diavolo is one of the first underground films I ever saw and it's one of the films that pulled me deeper into the scene in the first place. So I will always appreciate Paura il Diavolo for introducing me to the scene, but the film is not free from flaws.

You may notice that my screenshots are incredibly dark and blurry. Usually I would blame the poor quality on the copy of the movie that I used for review, but in actuality Paura il Diavolo is just incredibly dark and murky. The lighting, or lack thereof, is by far the film's biggest problem. Sometimes it's so dark that it's impossible to see anything, and the lights that we do see are so oversaturated and bright that they make the film a real eye-strain.

The story is extremely simple, cliché and derivative of other films. Hell, sometimes the influence is blatantly obvious. The entire transformation scene was inspired by Bava's Demons, and there's one scene where a character is watching Argento's Opera on the TV, right as the film reaches the infamous eye scene. Hell, even Paura's title is an homage to the Italian horror films of the 70's and the 80's. But the story itself is so slowly paced, it could have easily been from 20 to 25 minutes long. There's not much to say about the acting because the film has very little dialogue, but what we do hear is hard to make out, mainly because the cast members all have thick British accents and the audio quality is poor too.

Probably the film's biggest strength is the special effects and the make-up. Considering the obviously low-budget, we get some decent gore and blood effects including plenty of stabbings and an exploding chest near the end. The demons inside the bag look pretty silly, but the monster himself actually looks really cool. If I saw that fucking thing in the dark I would probably shit myself and then promptly run for my life. The stand-out effect is the demon's transformation, as it's very well-done with some pretty nasty close-ups on the demon's claws growing from under the man's fingernails.

Paura il Diavolo is a very flawed short film and I can really only recommend it to SOV enthusiasts and underground horror collectors. But in the end I was still able to find some entertainment in it and I appreciate it for piquing my interest in underground gore and horror cinema.

RELEASES:

-Paura il Diavolo was first released on VHS in 1992 by Darren's company Giallo Films, but this tape is extremely rare and near impossible to find. This is the original version that included copyrighted music from the band The Cult.

-A re-edited version of the film with a new score and music was released on the German released Darren Ward's Three Tickets to Hell in 1997 by Incredibly Strange Video. The tape also came with Ward's first feature Blue Fear and his short film Bitter Vengeance. This specific VHS was the source used for this review.