Zombarella's House of Whorrors (2019)

Zombarella's House of Whorrors (2019) - United States

Directed by: Tony Masiello, Tim Ritter

ABOUT THE FILM:

Zombarella's House of Whorrors is the ultimate love-letter to the shot-on-video, straight-to-video sleazefest movies of the 80's and 90's while also parading itself as an X-rated version of late night cable access television shows. Filmmakers Tony Masiello, Tim Ritter, and the elusive "Fred Olen Wood" were brought together after all having worked together on previous projects like the anthology Hi-8: Horror Independent 8. Tony approached Tim in 2019 and asked if he would like to make a short film for an upcoming anthology. Tim happily obliged and also sent Tony some old footage that had never been released before, with everything melding together into this tribute to b-movies and late-night television.

The movie plays out as if it were an actual late-night cable access show and does so quite convincingly, with more b-movie trailers and 1-900 number adverts than you can shake a stick at. But the main attraction is an anthology of three short horror stories by Tony Masiello and Tim Ritter, compiled into an anthology called Tales from the Mausoleum, as hosted by the sexy and well-endowed Zombarella! Held within this sleazy anthology are tales of killer dolls, horny aliens, cannibal vampire call-girls from space, a lunatic obsessed with castrating people and many more crazy lo-fi shenanigans!

REVIEW:

Zombarella's House of Whorrors proves successful as an homage to low-budget b-movies and to cable access television, however there are a few nagging flaws that bother me about it. The first time I watched the movie I wasn't a big fan, but after giving it another shot it grew on me and I began to appreciate it more for what it is.

All of the short films, fake advertisements and movie-trailers are a huge mixed bag in terms of quality, production value and entertainment factor. Most of them are solid with premises so ridiculous and cheesy (such as Cannibal Vampire Call-Girl Hookers from Outer Space) that they amount to being the film's best moments, even if they are just adverts and not part of the actual anthology. Some of the trailers and the adverts are compiled from really old footage so the picture quality may change a lot from scene-to-scene, but it's not detrimental and even gives the film more variety to aid the cable-access vibe it was going for.

But then a lot of the adverts get really repetitive and drawn-out, such as the gratuitous amount of 1-900 "adults only" adverts. It feels like they were being added a lot to pad out the runtime more, and they bring the pace of the film down as a result. If there were maybe 2 or 3 of these ads scattered throughout instead of how many are actually there, the pacing problems wouldn't be as nagging or noticeable.

The actual stories in the anthology are interesting and varied in terms of creativity, with my personal favorite being the Computer Date segment due to the writing and copious amounts of gore. Unfortunately most of the acting across all of the shorts is not good, so it was a little hard trying to get invested. I understand that most of these people were just friends of the directors who wanted to be in the movie and aren't professionals. There's nothing wrong with that, but it gets to be distracting at points. However, the acting isn't necessarily super important in a film like this, as the movie is fueled by its creativity. Hell, even a lot of the ads and fake trailers are very funny and well-made, like the one for Wee Willy Winky.

The movie is well-edited and put together, the camera, lighting and sound is consistently decent and a lot of the gore effects are pretty well-done! We get tons of deaths in here featuring castrations, decapitations, axeings, stabbings, guttings, more genital mutilation and so much more!

While Zombarella's House of Whorrors isn't perfect, it's a very entertaining viewing experience with so many different things to offer to its audience. It has sex, it has violence and over-the-top gore, aliens, killer dolls, laughs, and it does nothing more than aim to entertain. They weren't trying to make high art or anything, it's just a bunch of horror fans making stuff other horror fans would enjoy! And I would recommend any self-respecting fan of shot-on-video horror and b-movies purchases a copy.

RELEASES:

-Zombarella's House of Whorrors was released by Tony Masiello himself under his company SOV Horror in 2019. It was their second ever DVD release and is still available today for an absurdly low price at their website. Unfortunately that doesn't stop assholes from pirating his hard work and swapping it around on the internet for free. Not fucking cool, you guys.

I would highly encourage any fans of shot-on-video movies, sex, gore and trash to purchase the movie and anything else Tony has released because he puts in an endless amount of effort into every single release he does! You can purchase the movie here!

The DVD comes with an audio commentary from Tony Masiello, deleted scenes, a bunch of trailers for other SOV Horror releases and an episode of Tony's cable-access show Mondo Bizarro!