The Sideling Hill (2018)

The Sideling Hill (2018) - United States
Directed by: Nathan Hine

ABOUT THE FILM:
The Sideling Hill is an independent horror film from the prolific underground horror team Hardgore Core Productions, whose films Last Days of Livermore and Keepsake I've talked about in the past. The Sideling Hill began production in 2015 when director Nathan Hine grew fascinated by the Sideling Hill Tunnel, an abandoned Pennsylvanian turnpike tunnel. Hine wanted to use the location after fellow filmmaker and friend Matty Calhoun had used the tunnel in a couple of his shot-on-video horror films. The movie took 3 years to make and a lot of problems arose during production, such as cast and crew leaving the project to focus on other things, the director not being happy with early edits made of the film, or even one of the actors becoming pregnant. However through a lot of trial and error, Hine and crew soldiered forth and delivered a top-notch gore film that wound up actually being one of my favorites I've seen in recent years, and perhaps an underground classic in the making.

Perhaps I'm showing my hand a bit early, so why not describe what the movie is about? Well the story follows Adam, a veteran who served in the Middle East, who was left traumatized over all of the horrific things he witnessed during wartime. As a result, he became a reclusive alcoholic, which led to his marriage falling to pieces. When his friend Harry and his daughter Allie beckon Adam to come with them to see the abandoned turnpike tunnel, Adam reluctantly agrees. On the way there they get a little lost and when they stop to ask some locals for directions, they warn them that the tunnel is extremely dangerous and has a long history of hauntings. They ignore the warnings and proceed to hike for miles and miles, eventually making it to the tunnel. But as they travel deeper into the tunnel, tensions rise between the trio and Adam keeps seeing things that remind him of wartime and start to bring out his inner demons...

REVIEW:
I remember first discovering Nathan's reviews on his Hardgore Core YouTube channel back in 2015, where he reviewed all kinds of underground gore and horror flicks. He covered tons of awesome stuff like obscure German splatter and the films of Darren Ward. And then one day he uploaded a teaser trailer for The Sideling Hill, which looked moderately interesting. After talking with Nathan over YouTube comments and through Facebook for some time, he shared with me a short film that he made while working on The Sideling Hill called The Last Days of Livermore, and I remember being surprised at the overall quality of the short. For something from a first-time director, it was very well-made with some good cinematography and crazy over-the-top splatter effects. I instantly became more excited about checking out Nathan's later works, and when The Sideling Hill was finally released, I was ecstatic to give it a watch.

I had high expectations set, and even then, this movie completely cleared those expectations. The movie is well-written with some great dialogue and some genuinely tense moments, such as when things begin to intensify between our cast of characters. However the movie is a little slow in some places, especially during tense moments, so as to keep viewers in suspense for as long as possible. I've seen both the director's cut and the shorter unrated version, with both clocking in at or over 2 hours. The director's cut is longer and a bit gorier, however I prefer the unrated cut because it's more polished and more tightly edited.

The acting is decent all things considered, with Hine stealing the show as Adam. He comes off as this genuinely troubled man who has been deeply psychologically scarred and as a result has a warped outlook on life. Some of the performances aren't that great, but these people aren't professional actors, they're just trying their very best to make their roles work and the end result is really admirable. The two other show stealers are the cinematography and the gore effects. The camera work and lighting is very well done for a low-budget film; we have some great shots and the lighting in some scenes definitely helps build this uneasy vibe. The gore scenes are few and far apart, but when the gore scenes kick in, holy shit do they deliver. There's a bunch of crazy over-the-top blood sprays with every cut and stab, and the make-up effects look pretty awesome. Aside from the movie having a bit of a slow pace at times, the only other issue I have with the movie is the sound. This is a common issue with Hardgore Core's films and indie cinema in general, that the sound is kind of schizo. Sometimes within the same scene, you'll have perfect sound and you can hear everyone or everything. Then when the camera angle changes, suddenly the sound is so muffled that you can barely hear it, and it's distracting at points. The movie does have a pretty awesome soundtrack though, with music from Australian death metal band MISERY and an original score by Will England. Great stuff!

But all things considered, The Sideling Hill is a solid fucking watch with interesting characters, a good story and some cool gore effects. And while the gore is there, the movie doesn't completely drive itself on the gore, but at the same time, what is there suits the plot. And that's what I admire about the movie. I love a good ol' mindless balls-to-the-wall gorefest every now and then, but I also love when a movie is more sparing with its use of gore. It makes it more effective! While I could go on and on about how awesome this movie was, I don't want to give away too much because I think any self-respecting gorehound or horror fan should give this one a watch.

RELEASES:

-The Sideling Hill was released on DVD by D.I.Y. Productions in Canada in 2018. This DVD contains the director's cut version of the film, and The Last Days of Livemore as a bonus short.

-The film was released on VHS and self-distributed by Hardgore Core Productions in 2019. The run was limited to 30 copies.

-The movie was also released on DVD and Blu-Ray by PSFilms Video in 2019. The DVD comes with the unrated final cut of the movie. Bonuses include three trailers, the original teaser, a "Tour of the Sideling Hill" featurette, and a documentary about the movie called "The Light at the End of the Tunnel." The Blu-Ray includes the final cut and the director's cut, plus a bunch of extras.

-The UK-based Dead Format Films released the movie in 2019 in a limited collector's edition boxset. The set came with all three different cuts of the movie, a VHS copy, the original soundtrack on CD and even a piece of actor Mike Knapp's bloody shirt from the movie. Step aside, Arrow Video.

Kindness of Strangers (2019)

Kindness of Strangers (2019) - United States

Directed by: Lucky Cerruti

Warning, this review contains mild spoilers.

ABOUT THE FILM:

Kindness of Strangers tells the story of an engaged couple, John and Sarah, who are looking for a venue to stay at where they can get married. They find an accommodation through an online app and find a rather nice bed-and-breakfast in a small town where everybody knows everybody. The home is hosted by Gail, a very welcoming and friendly woman living on her own after losing her husband Mack. But what seems like the perfect trip quickly turns into a nightmare for John and Sarah...

REVIEW:

Man, where to start?

Well, from what I understand this is writer/director Lucky Cerruti's first film, and this is my first time seeing anything from him. After seeing this, I feel more inclined to check out his other work because Kindness of Strangers is a fantastic short film in every single respect!

The story, even if it's a little cliched, is very well-written and well-developed across the 34 minute runtime. Our main characters are very likable and have good chemistry between each other, so when they find themselves in trouble you feel sorry for them and want to see them win. Part of that also has to do with the acting, as our two leads play John and Sarah perfectly and are very fitting for the roles. Actually, everyone here turned in an amazing showing and it really helped suck me into the film. Without meaning to spoil, the actors who played the villains did a great job and really sold their characters as these truly sick, evil individuals who do what they do just because they can. There are some people out there who just like to hurt and kill others for fun, and the actors sell their characters as such evil scumbags.

The camera work and lighting is very competently done throughout, the editing and sound work is clean and tightly done, and what few special effects are in this film are done very well. Even the score, which was also done by Lucky, is good and helps set the tone and atmosphere for the film!

I was very pleasantly surprised with the overall quality of this short! When I went into it I was just expecting another by-the-numbers, bland horror story. But instead I got this tightly-written, perfectly-acted and just overall well-made short film. I would highly recommend picking up a copy and supporting the filmmakers, and anything else that they have available! I know Lucky has at least one other movie and a bunch of shorts available, which I will be reviewing in the near future.

RELEASES:

-Kindness of Strangers was released on DVD by Dead Vision Productions in 2019! You can pick up a copy here.

-The film was also released on VHS, however the run was very limited and is sold out as of now.

Diary of a Cannibal (2006)

Diary of a Cannibal (2006) - United States

Directed by: Ulli Lommel

ABOUT THE FILM:

If the term "cinematic sleeping-pill" were in the dictionary, pairing it with the poster image for Diary of a Cannibal would do the phrase more than enough justice. This movie was conceived when (the now late) German director Ulli Lommel worked with notorious fellow German director Marian Dora on the set of Lommel's Zombie Nation. The two penned a script based on the real life case of Armin Meiwes, a man who was convicted for cannibalizing a man he met on the internet. When Lommel deemed Dora's film to be far too graphic and disturbing, he quickly went to work on his own version, which Lionsgate would later release as Diary of a Cannibal.

Now why is that last part relevant? Well frankly, I can't see how Lionsgate would even consider distributing a hunk of shit like this.

To summarize, Diary of a Cannibal is about a couple, Adam and Noelle, who meet on the internet. Adam wants Noelle to kill him and feast on his flesh as the ultimate sign of love. So the two drive out to this.. warehouse thing.. in the middle of no where. Noelle straps him to a giant cross, guts and decapitates him and then grills and feasts on his organs. To pad this piece of shit out even more, they add endless amounts of recycled footage, shots of the beach, gratuitous footage of a lamb being skinned, scenes of Noelle driving on a Vespa, and whatever bible inserts Lommel could find that are related to cannibalism- it just keeps going and it never ends. Eventually Noelle is caught, sent to prison and convicted, and then Adam's mom pays off a bunch of inmates to savagely beat Noelle. She is then hospitalized and dies on the hospital bed as police question why she was sent to prison, even though she was already convicted and serving her sentence!!! The only reason the hospital scenes exist is to tell the story entirely in flashback, out of order, mind you, and pad this movie out with as much recycled footage, artsy-fartsy montage-style editing, bible quotes and other pretentious bullshit as possible.

There you go, I just saved 82 minutes of your life! You're welcome.

REVIEW:

Despite the story being shallow and nonsensical, it probably would've worked better as a short instead of an 82 minute snoozefest. So not only is the story a failure on every level, but the actors (I'm using that term as loosely as I can) put absolutely no effort into trying to emote or put some life into these dull, empty characters. The entire movie, it's clear that the actors don't care and just want to cash a paycheck, a check they did not earn because they didn't do a god-damned thing on camera. Even then, the only thing Adam managed to do was to sport a dead-eyed, lifeless stare the entire film.

And on top of that... I don't mind watching amateur movies, but when I see movies being put out by a company as big as Lionsgate, I would expect some sort of quality-control. However, not only do we have the endless amounts of recycled footage, but the editing is so piss-poor and there are tons of filters and layered shots added that just make the movie even harder to watch. The camera work here for the most part is shaky and fuzzy, and sometimes they even unfocus the camera to try and hide some of the questionable special effects!

On that note, the best effect in the entire film is the end credits.

Everything else is incredibly cheap and shit, but two effects in particular stand out. After Noelle cuts off Adam's head, she carries his head towards the table to set it down. At first you'd swear they made a cast of the actor's head because it looks incredibly detailed. But then you see a still-shot of it and you can tell the actor's face is just photoshopped onto a rubber head! 

Then in another shot with the head facing the camera, the camera is so blurry that it's impossible to see anything!

But even worse, we get a shot of what is supposed to be Adam's headless body strapped to the giant cross thing. Instead of using a dummy, they put a solid black digital shadow over the actor's head to try and hide it!

I swear that I didn't edit that picture.

That is easily the worst special effect I have ever fucking seen. For Christ's sakes, DAS KOMABRUTALE KIFFERDUELL had better special effects than this!! Just process that for a second. And on top of that, the blood changes thickness from scene to scene, and even the innards change too! When Noelle first pulls out Adam's heart and organs, they look just like a heart and organs. But once she'd finished grilling them, they suddenly turned into what look to be a steak and a giant chunk of ham. And as we have a shot of her cutting in the heart, once more, the camera is blurred. That shot alone tells me that Ulli Lommel knew he had a terrible movie on his hands, but he was going to try and hide that as much as possible and still try to profit off of it. And that is disgusting.

Before I watched this movie I had heard nothing but terrible things about it. Usually I can find at least one positive in a bad movie, but this couldn't give me any. Not even one. At least Das Komabrutale Kifferduell made me laugh; at least they... kinda tried to do special effects. At least the Wood of No Return wasn't boring beyond all belief!

This was unwatchable. This is by far the worst horror movie I have ever seen, and I wouldn't wish for my worst enemies to watch a movie this fucking atrociously bad.

RELEASES:

-Somehow, this abominable thing got released on DVD by Lionsgate in 2007. It comes with trailers and an audio commentary, which is nothing but Lommel and his editor and actor stroking his ego.

Followers of the Dead Light (2020)

Followers of the Dead Light (2020) - Canada
Directed by: Yan Kaos

ABOUT THE FILM:
Followers of the Dead Light is one of the latest feature length endeavors from Canadian sicko Yan Kaos, who is joined by a handful of directors from around the globe to bring us quite possibly one of the most demented and depraved movies ever conceived! Featuring work from Yan Kaos, Darren Ricci, Melissa Sapienza, Rob Ceus, Inge Vanleene, Jonas Bekaert, Alex Wesley, Maria Kostromina, Joe and Cid Meredith, Esa Jussila, Artturi Rostén, Nathan Hine, Bob Vresilovic, Tyffany Laskey, Splat, Camille Monette, Brian Paulin, Rich George, Ashley Valentine, Ronnie Kaye and Brian Garret.

REVIEW:
Followers of the Dead Light is quite a complicated beast when it comes to actually trying to review it. Usually when I review a movie I like to start by summarizing the plot, but the plot in Followers is very cryptic and vague, yet better off kept that way. Followers almost feels like an anthology, with different scenes and vignettes from different directors, but apparently Yan gave each director involved an idea for the scenes he wanted to bring out demonic spirits. Each scene is tied together into one giant conglomeration of extreme violence, brutality, blasphemy, necrophilia, Satanic imagery, nihilism, sexual deviancy; I could go on all day! Every single scene does its best in bringing out the ugliest and most evil sides of humanity, bombarding us with the most grotesque and heinous imagery possible while building a hell of an atmosphere with its soundtrack. Seriously, some of the stuff in this movie is the shit nightmares are made of.

In this day and age, there are many extreme films in the underground scene or out on the market that feel like they're either trying too hard to outdo each other in shock value, or like they're just trying to make a quick buck. Followers of the Dead Light isn't necessarily breaking any new ground but it breaks the mold of the constant pissing contest of who can make the more extreme movie. Followers is all about passionate underground horror filmmakers coming together to make a project they believe in, a project for fans of horror and extreme cinema alike to revel in. At a runtime of an hour and fifty minutes, Followers has grotesqueries, gore and depravity in spades and delivers to its fullest extent, and then some. Unfortunately, the movie feels slow in some spots and could've used a little tightening up, but overall the film is edited very well and greatly showcases the capabilities of every person involved.

The film has next to no dialogue and the acting is quite a mixed bag from scene to scene, but everyone turns in a decent showing and does the absolute best they possibly could. One of my favorite segments is by Finnish filmmakers Artturi Rostén and Esa Jussila, where a man being held hostage has his face brutally beaten and caved in with a hammer and a dumbbell, and the victim (played by Rostén) seems to be genuinely fearing for his life. Good fucking stuff.

But that scene is just the tip of the iceberg. We have endless gory scenes including (but not limited to) nails being shoved up dicks, decapitations, heads being split in half, faces chopped and peeled off, guts being torn into and eaten, castrations, bathtub abortions, throat slittings and a wide array of morbid and gruesome deaths. Some of these scenes are so graphic that they will make even the most seasoned gorehounds cringe!

The gore and makeup effects are very well done except for one scene where a hand is being chopped up on a blue tarp, and is obviously just a rubber hand with nothing in it. It caught me a little off guard and cracked me up but it didn't pull me out of the movie completely since every other effect was fucking amazing.

If you're looking for a traditional film with a linear structure then you're in the wrong place. Followers of the Dead Light is the product of the sick mind of Yan Kaos and can be described as the ultimate underground film. I can absolutely recommend it to all fans of extreme cinema as its a perverted ride you'll never forget.

RELEASES:
Followers of the Dead Light was released on DVD by D.I.Y. Productions in 2020 in three different editions, all three with different cover artworks and limited to 50 copies each. For extras we get a bunch of trailers for other releases from Yan Kaos.

My Lovely Burnt Brother and His Squashed Brain (1988)

My Lovely Burnt Brother and His Squashed Brain (1988) - Italy
Directed by: Giovanni Arduino

ABOUT THE FILM:

My Lovely Burnt Brother and His Squashed Brain is an Italian horror/comedy film that was created by Giovanni Arduino and Andrea Lioy, under the names "J.J. Hard" and "A.G. Stewart." The movie was made around 1987-1988, when the era of Italian genre films was slowly coming to a halt before fading away in the 90's. This was an era that left behind a treasure trove of Euro horror, gore and giallos (Italian murder mysteries).. and of course this little underground gem.

The story is told through a framing device of a bored customer who rents a tape from his local video store, much to the opposition of the clerk. He takes the tape home and pops it in, and then the real movie begins. We follow Jane, a woman who works at a dentist's office and is constantly being sexually harassed by her patients for being unattractive, and these patients can be pretty ugly towards her. She's even being followed by an annoying and condescending saleswoman trying to sell beauty products, who further lays into Jane for being an "ugly hag."

While at home, Jane has to watch after her brother Bernie, who was left so horribly disfigured from a car accident that he covers his face with a Ku Klux Klan mask. Why? Well.. because the car was black... Yeah. Bernie has been in extreme pain and risks dying unless he can shoot up some more junk. As she is officially fed up with the harassment from clients and the saleswoman and her handicapped brother, she snaps and replaces Bernies's morphine with her own urine. After injecting him, she finds that Bernie begins following her every command, no matter how extreme, and decides she can use Bernie to get bloody revenge against her disreputable clients...

REVIEW:

I remember first hearing about this movie when I was about 13-14 years old and just starting to get into obscure and underground cinema. I found clips of this movie on YouTube and despite the horrific video quality, I found myself quite intrigued by some of the oddities on hand. A handicapped morphine junkie being injected with piss? Said morphine junkie licking his sister's shoes clean and eating his own puke? A death by a dildo to the mouth? I had to see this movie!

After years and years of hunting for a watchable copy of this movie I finally managed to track down an official DVD release, on a compilation called VHS Generation 2. I have never been more happy to see a movie in good shape. The reason why, frankly, is because My Lovely Burnt Brother is one of my all-time favorite underground films and was an incentive for me to seek out more obscure movies..

When it comes to the movie itself, My Lovely Burnt Brother is one of those love it or hate it type of deals. It has everything from gross-out humor, to inventive, over-the-top deaths, really bad and corny jokes, random musical numbers, the list goes on. A lot of people criticize this movie for its humor and for its attempts to shock or to be as politically incorrect as possible, and feel like more could have been done with it. This is a genuine criticism, but in my opinion, it works because it has some bearing on the plot. Every shocking and offensive thing that happens does so for a purpose and has an effect on later events in the movie. However, the story isn't free from error.

In the movie, there is a side-plot about one of the detectives looking into the murders Bernie is committing. She had to give up her life of being a punk rocker to work as a detective, after her cowboy father was killed by ruthless gangsters. While this gives the character some depth, this doesn't have any real bearing on the rest of the plot, and it feels kind of contrived as a result. I feel like it would have worked better if the writer tried to expand upon that idea and make it fit the plot, rather than just using it as a running gag like it is. Aside from that flaw, the movie is decently-paced and the story is pretty easy to follow, although occasionally the story halts for a joke to be made.

Speaking of jokes, a lot of this movie's humor comes from the actors body language. The acting is so over-the-top that it compares to silent-era cinema and to slapstick comedies from the 30's. There isn't an awful lot of dialogue, and there are a lot of scenes that are only accompanied with music, so the actors have to really ham it up. The movie was shot on 16mm film, so all of the audio had to be dubbed in during post. The dialogue is mostly badly dubbed and often times the doesn't even match the actor's mouth, but this just further adds to that cheesy 80's horror feel. I'm also a big fan of the music. Whether you like the movie or not, we can probably agree that this movie has a solid soundtrack, complete with lo-fi horror synth music and grimy punk tunes that fit this movie like a glove. Even the main theme at the opening is pretty cool too! It's not as good as anything from Goblin, but it's still catchy.

On the note of murder scenes, while the movie isn't an absolute gorefest, we get a handful of very fun and memorable splatter scenes, including the dildo death, a face in a deli meat-slicer, death by electric eels, and a nasty forced drug overdose. When I first watched this movie in a 10th generation bootleg state, I was pretty impressed with the gore effects, and even when watching the movie in a very clean state, the effects still hold up! The make-up is very well done and adds to the movie's grindhouse-style feel, in addition to the grainy, damaged film stock.

When all is said and done, I'm just really glad that I watched this movie to begin with, because it was one of my first introductions to this side of cinema and is one of the reasons why I love underground horror. Even if it's sleazy, trashy and in bad taste, it's so much better than the vast majority of the stuff that is being regurgitated by major studios with millions of dollars. This movie continues to remind me of what people with very little money and a camera are capable of making and unleashing on the world, and I'm grateful that this movie exists. If you're a fan of underground trash, obscure Euro horror and cheesy 80's movies then My Lovely Burnt Brother is an absolute must-see!

RELEASES:

According to one of the actors, this movie was never officially released in Italy for decades but was floating around in the underground tape trading scene throughout America. According to co-director Giovanni Arduino, the movie was made as a love-letter to the films of John Waters, and was made with American audiences in mind. It was originally distributed in America by a company called Ark Films, but apparently, most of the bootleg copies floating around are sourced from a tape given to Donald Farmer, another independent filmmaker. Unfortunately, I couldn't find any records of an original VHS and I don't see myself finding one any time soon.

Thankfully, the movie was officially released in 2019, courtesy of Home Movies Italy. The movie came paired with a handful of other shorts, as well as an introduction by director Arduino and also an incredibly rare making-of featurette!

If you want to get a legal copy of this movie, look for VHS Generation 2 on DVD. There aren't any English subs like there are on the bootlegs, but the quality of the print on the DVD and the extras alone make it worth so much more than any crummy bootleg could offer.